update...

sorry i have not posted in a while...to the few of you who read. i find that blogging is more for me than those who read anyway, but maybe someone, somewhere will read and be touched, that is my hope.

this past month has been a great experience. i moved home to oakhurst, job fell through, and i hung out for a whole month with nothing to do but hang out with God, family, and friends. i loved it. but i knew what the future held. i was going to soon return to my home, redding.

i am here. i moved into an apartment tonight with holmes and beads. its good. we will see what tomorrow brings. i am excited! God is moving...this is why i am excited.

Lord, if it is your will, bring me favor in the lives of your children.

jesus notices

ever wonder what it would have been like to see the Son of God weep? in John 11 after Lazarus dies Jesus becomes "greatly disturbed in Spirit and deeply moved." The crazy thing I saw this time when reading this passage is that Jesus became this way after seeing Mary and the people following here weeping out of compassion for Lazarus. Jesus sees his children weeping, and is moved.

sometimes I feel as though I am some random piece of the puzzle that everyone swears has to have been lost under the table. the piece that stays (un)found and unnoticed. this word came to me as I was playing my guitar in the wee hours of the morning, "Jesus you notice me, you see my pain, my trails, my fear. You are God, You hear me, You are love."

Jesus notices us, but so much more than the word "notice" implies. He knows us. He knows us better than we know ourselves. The crazy part? Oh yeah, is that he knows our deepest most disturbing thoughts yet he is still loves us more than any other being as well as encourages us more than any other. what the? how come? He is love, he is encouragement, he is righteousness, he is holy.

Lord, continue to reveal yourself to me. I know you will never give up on me. I wish to come humbly before you in meekness, and the understanding of your call on our lives as your followers. I know that I know nothing. Walk with me. Show me your way. Bless me with the opportunity to bring your glory to your kingdom. Let us be known as the people that walked with God.

a change of mind

i have found writing to be best suited for my breaks at work. it is a time i usually find as meditating on the Word of God or the words he is currently speaking to me. thus, a great time to write about them...

last night as i laid in bed, i began to listen to God. as some of you know, i believe that God could be working in me a passion for my home town of oakhurst, ca. a great challenge would be laying dormant for my return home. not only do i sometimes feel as though i can fall into mental and spiritual deadness when i am home, but there are also great opportunities for ministry. these challenges would usually stand as daunting to my normal self, but this past month things have changed, and i am growing in confidence. i have become aware of the constant necessity to be in pursuit of God during every second of the day. i love our talks, our walks, and his dreams for my life. another opportunity presented itself yesterday. one that would be so exciting for me.

so here is the thing, all three opportunities have great potential, for ministry, spiritual, and leadership development. all have their negatives. the negatives have consumed my thinking. rather than being completely awstruck by the grace of God and how he has found favor with me in a way that he presents three amazing opportunities, i am focusing on the difficult aspects of each opportunity, and especially what i will be missing out on from the two choices i leave behind. i am focusing on what i will be leaving rather than what i will be experiencing. now, i will certainly be missing anyone i will not be around because of my decision, without a doubt, but still, should i not focus on the incredible possibilites that lay in wait for me to act and to begin walking in that direction. God sent Phillip to head down a road, and he did. what did he find? an ethiopian unich (sp) that did not understand the meaning of Scripture. so God sent Phillip down a path to change the life of one individual. i hope upon hope that i can change just one person's life in my lifetime! but what did Phillip have to do first before meeting this man? he had to begin walking in a direction. so i too must also begin walking in a direction, not only towards God, but to a place that he has already begun to prepare for me.

pray for me, that i can find the overwheliming joy and opportunity that lays over the next ridge, in whatever decision i come to. pray that i will continue to pursue God so we can make a decision as one. i am so greatful for the personl, intimate relationship that was made available to us through Jesus' death on the cross. what would i do without the voice of God beieng tangible in my life?

i encourage you, as i too work through not focusing on the negitives, do not regret what you may be leaving behind before you have even taken a step in a direction, or after for that matter. but find joy in your trials. find joy in your decision making. find joy in your pursuit of being able to recognize the voice of God in a single moment. it will create endurance, faith, maturity and character if you allow it to. find joy, find hope in the Lord.

Blessings...

decisions, decisions...

i have a difficult decision to make. never have i leaned more on the advice of God in all that i do. i few days ago i was so worried that if i made the wrong decision i would be left outside of the will of God. today, unfortunately i still worry, but i was comforted by the words of nate e on sunday. he said, "the will of God is not something you do, but rather something you are." what encouragement! as long as i seek out the Lord and pursue him in complete surrender i will be in his will, no matter what the decision is that i make.

nate also spoke about how we should strive to understand the voice of God in such a way that we can distinguish it between all other voices of this world. we should recognize the voice of the Father in such a way that we can act in a single moment upon his voice to speak truth to others in boldness so that the word of God, that is truth, can be spilled onto the lives of the "not yet" Christians (as Bill Randal would put it) in a way that changes their lives.

lets think about this. if we do submit to the Father and we are constantly pursuing his voice and his heart, what could the impact be? if i were to speak out what the Father himself has spoken to me, the creator of the universe, the most magnificant being that created the stars and the insects, the one who knows everything, what could happen? if we pursue the voice of God in such a way that we can earnestly enter into his presence in meekness, could any man stand to that power or would he choose to submit, to lay face down upon the holy ground? i may not be as strong a some, but i would surely fall flat on my noggin.

i encourage you, be intentional about entering into the presence of God in meekness, in humility, as a son that loves his father because he was first loved by Him.

Blessings...

Fathers Day Weekend Was a Good Weekend

On Saturday my dad brought up the story of how God lead the Israelites into the wilderness for 40 years and used it as a time to teach them in reference to my trials...

My dad is a not a Christian...
I was blown away...
He also said "i love you"

This was a good weekend...

Blessings...



(p.s. God is moving)

"Cheers" on Easter

Cheers. That’s what I remember from The Stirring’s Easter services. Not cheers as in we were about to drink a pint, not Cheers the television show, but cheers as in jubilation. Every Easter churches will do the loved saying by the pastor, “He is Risen!” and the congregation will answer, “He is Risen Indeed!” Not The Stirring. We say, “He is Risen,” and the majority of the congregation of young adults and young Christians answer with a”Yeah!” or a “Whoo!” mixed with a murmured, “He is Risen Indeed.” I find this excitement expressed through cheer is the definition of The Stirring’s congregation core. We don’t all necessarily yet know, we are on our way, how to act like a Christian (if knowing a saying actually means that), but we know we want to follow Christ. We are raw, young believers, learners, teachers, friends, families, and students that are all seeking to Love and make disciples. The other cheer that I remember came during every baptism. I could not help but cheer! It is powerful to see and hear the stories of these individuals and how God has absolutely transformed their lives. How great and awesome is the power of God! Some of these individuals, six months ago could not imagine even going to church let alone being baptized. I hope next year we continue to hear more cheers than “He is Risen Indeed’s.” That just means we are still fulfilling the great commission and raising up new believers… mixed with a little bit of raw excitement.

Strengths Finder

I took strengths finder yesterday...

Learner
Achiever
Belief
Includer
Developer

...thoughts...?

Yaks today...

Today I found myself in a conversation in Yaks with Dick. Dick is a gentleman in probably his mid-late 70's that moved here from Tacoma, Washington a few years ago to be closer to one of his daughters. After getting to know a little bit about each other Dick began telling about his religious beliefs. At first I was very excited, but quickly realized that I was completely unprepared. He told me it was hard for him to believe in an untangable god. He also told me he does not believe there is a heaven or hell, but that the Bible is more of a figurative idea. He attended a church in Washington that believed all people go to heaven and that love is the most important thing for us to do. He said he believes Jesus was a real person, but that the Bible could not be the actually Word of God. He also said that he believed the creation story is a bunch of fluff, "child stuff." He also was confused how two men will go to war side by side and one will die and the other live, and God can let this happen.

My heart burned for Dick this afternoon in Yaks in this simple, yet powerful, hour long conversation. Dick and I have so many things that we can relate to and understand about the other. But, how can I, this struggling to completely understand God himself senior at Simpson University, show Dick a tangible God, the tangible, all powerful God that I know and love? I felt so ill-prepared and able to speak tangible truth into the life of this man. I feel like this conversation happened for a reason.

Dick says he comes here often to have coffee because he loves the atmosphere of this place. I hope to have more conversations with him. Pray for him, pray for me. I pray that our hearts continue to burn for people like Dick.

Worthy of Suffering...

this morning i read out of Acts 5. the chapter starts out with the story of Ananias and Sapphira and how they lied about how much money they had received for selling their field, which is a absolutely crazy story (for another day perhaps).

the second section of the chapter writes about how the apostles healed many and how people would actually bring the sick onto the streets at this time, hoping "that at least Peter's shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. - what the heck?!?! talk about a man filled with the power of God!

the third and final section writes about how the apostles began to be persecuted for speaking at the temple courts in the name of Jesus. So...the Sanhedrin gets frustrated so much with them that they throw them in jail. an angel of the Lord appears and releases them (of course) and then they go back into the temple courts and continue to teach (not preach). so, for obvious reasons, the Sanhedrin is upset at this...so they bring them back in.

the apostles respond to the accusations by saying together, "We must obey GOd rather than men! The God of our fathers raised Jesus from the dead--whom you had killed by hanging him on a tree. God exalted him to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might give repentance and forgiveness of sins to Israel. We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him."

Whoa! powerful stuff!...

the Sanhedrin is furious! but a man named Gamaliel speak up and says, "in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.

the Sanhedrin was persuaded to let the apostles go

...first they flogged them...

....then they released them...

AND THEN..."The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ."

this is the few verses that really blew my mind... not only do the apostles, after being persecuted and spending a night in a dirty jail cell, continue teaching in the temple courts, exactly what they were ordered not to, but they actually rejoiced "because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name."

they rejoiced in their persecution...because they had been counted worthy...

for me, when i face hardship for my faith, the idea that i have been counted worthy is the last thing that comes to mind.

how do we celebrate our persecution? i know persecution looks much different today (in america at least) than it did in the apostles day, but do well worthy because of our persecution?

anyway...crazy stuff... in concludence, a very wise man once said.... "awesome"

thoughts?

Till I See You - Hillsong United

i went on a run tonight... it has been way too long... my shins feel like they are going to fall off...

not all is lost, however...

i needed some time to just get away from school, to get away from the busyness and the worries...

on my run i listened to the I Heart Revolution CD, of which the song Till I See You ran its course...

the words to the chorus stuck out to me as my feet hit the pavement and my mind for the first time in weeks had a break from the worries that plague it.

here are the lyrics - "I will live to love you, I will live to bring you praise, I will live a child in awe of you."

what would this look like if every child of God chose to live a life that resembles this? i am in awe of Him who created this world and made me who i am, please, just think about it, pray about it... i hope we begin to live by it...

Amy Grant Christmas Mix

amy grant christmas tunes after new years...is that weird?

i love friends, especially when i get to see them outside of our school atmosphere, and in my home town. john ewing, james spencer, matt lopez, and bryan henderson all came to oakhurst today to play at the zion project with jenna barney and myself. they all made my day, seeing worlds collide is neat... my mom thinks they are awesome... she made us cookies... we are heading back to school tomorrow and i said good bye to my mom tonight... i will miss her... i also can't wait to be back to school...